Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
