too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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