I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
