Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
