is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Your cock deserves a montage
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
