he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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