I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
