am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
