it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
