My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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