he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
