belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
