Porn is love you can see.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
