I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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