The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
