WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
