i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
