This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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