Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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