OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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