Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
