hell yes lets make some ravioli
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
