I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
These tits shall not be calmed
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
