And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
