I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You can't motorboat a personality
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
