i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
And then my night got REAL pukey
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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