She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think i peed on brittanys purse
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
