I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
