Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
