You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
