we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Your cock deserves a montage
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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