Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
