Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
