I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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