Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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