i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
When are your genitals available?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
