so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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