i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
