I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
