hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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