i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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