You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
