how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
