Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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