Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm at about main and main street
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I believe in your delicious
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
