omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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