I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
