Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
