If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
