guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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