dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
