oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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