Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
