Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
