why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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