I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
